Using a Divorce Mediation Attorney to Minimize Conflict

When a marriage begins to unravel, spouses commonly start feeling a variety of negative emotions, including stress, frustration, betrayal, fear, distrust and apprehension.  As such, it is often difficult for them to communicate with one another during the process of divorce.  Having a divorce mediation attorney can help bridge communication gaps that exist when the parties are experiencing communication problems due to these negative emotions.  A divorce mediation attorney can often help minimize the conflict so that the parties are able to come up with an outcome that pleases them both.

A seasoned divorce mediator understands that divorce is not simply a financial dissolution in which the parties can easily assign their lifetime possessions in categories.  For many individuals, divorce is akin to death.  It represents the dissolution of a romantic relationship or even a family, many times despite the best efforts of the parties.  It also represents confusion as the parties head toward a future that they may never have anticipated or imagined.  A divorce mediation attorney can listen privately to each party, validating their feelings of loss and helping them work through these difficult emotions.  Divorce mediators are particularly sensitive to the emotional needs of the parties during this difficult time.  They will not try to minimize these feelings of grief, betrayal or distrust but will instead focus on getting the parties to channel these feelings into an agreement that they will both be happy with.

A divorce mediator can listen independently to both sides of the case and approach the case from a reasoned, unbiased standpoint.  He or she can weigh in on what he or she believes to be the strengths and weaknesses of each side.  Additionally, he or she can point out how judges have ruled in cases involving similar issues.  This helps decrease the parties’ unrealistic expectations and often opens their eyes about the benefit to working out an agreement on their own terms.

Divorce mediators play a much different role than divorce attorneys.  Mediators are completely unbiased, hired to help the parties reach an amicable settlement.  As such, they are not afraid to tell the parties things they don’t want to hear – where their attorneys very well may be.  It is important to listen to a professional mediator due to the very fact that he or she is talking from an objective viewpoint.  Using a divorce mediator allows the parties to play an active role in how their future will look and what will become their new normal (rather than having a court dictate what the future holds).

Divorce mediators often help parties focus on the big picture.  Rather than arguing through every conceivable issue, the parties can choose to calmly discuss this information so that they both can save the time, legal expenses, frustration, stress and uncertainty that litigation often entails.  Parties work on communication strategies that will enhance their personal interactions, which can help in the future when co-parenting or simply co-existing in the same world with the former spouse.  Through a calm and logical approach, divorce mediators help the parties identify the issues that need to be resolved and guide them toward an amicable solution, saving them as many marital assets as possible in the process.