Anyone considering a divorce is going to wonder about the emotional and legal processes they will potentially undergo. Questions, speculation, hypotheses and soul-searching are common to people exploring the possibility of divorce. For a parent thinking about a permanent split from a spouse, uncertainties about child custody and visitation can make divorce a daunting prospect.
A psychotherapist, author and clinical social worker recently wrote for the Huffington Post an article about realities divorcing people must face. A couple of her points will be perhaps especially useful for parents to consider.
Therapist-author Abby Rodman notes that people can go through the emotional and legal processes without feeling as if they have to hate their spouse.
She says a lot of folks get stuck believing that hatred is a part of divorce, and they’re often confused because they find themselves “waiting for loathing to set in so they can triumphantly end their marriages with their consciences clear.” But in many cases, the hate never arrives.
For divorcing parents, there’s another reality to consider here: your former spouse is likely to remain a part of your life and the life of your child. Hatred is a hindrance as you continue to interact with your ex regarding visits, holidays, education, etc.
Rodman also says it’s important for divorcing parents to be clear that life is going to change after divorce. You’re still going to be working, taking care of your child and so on, but finances will change. Some friends will leave your life. Your children might struggle emotionally with the divorce. You might find yourself alone on a special holiday.
All of these things and more can change, but the new life can also be empowering and liberating.
The legal process begins with a conversation with a Mechanicsburg family law attorney experienced in helping clients protect their families and interests in divorce.