Turning an unwanted divorce into a positive process

If your spouse has insisted that he or she wants a divorce and you do not feel the same way, the imbalance can be heart wrenching. More and more, Americans are viewing divorce as a transition from one phase of life to the next. However, it can be difficult to embrace this relatively positive outlook if you do not want the divorce you are now compelled to weather.

However, it can be beneficial to “fake it until you make it.” This is not to say that you should not grieve. Grieving is both normal and healthy. However, if you do not also begin pursuing a healthy and bright future, your negative outlook could affect your divorce settlement, your child custody arrangements and your ultimate wellbeing. If you can find your way to a sense of empowerment in regards to your divorce, you will likely begin feeling stronger, more independent and more willing to pursue healthy choices.

It is very easy for loved ones to tell you right now that your spouse is both a jerk and that he or she ultimately did you a favor. You may not be ready to hear the latter statement, as you likely feel that your spouse did you anything but a favor. However, you are now essentially being freed of someone who is not willing to stand by your side. You are being given an opportunity to do what your spouse has not. You can stand up for yourself and make both your divorce process and your future life as healing and as healthy as possible.

Source: The Huffington Post, “The TRANSIT Technique: 7 Ways to Embrace the Divorce You Didn’t Want,” Abby Rodman, Nov. 1, 2014