Divorcing? Your marriage has not ‘failed’

It can be all too easy to think that because your marriage is ending that it has failed. However, it is likely important for your sense of purpose and for your emotional health that you draw a distinction between dissolution and failure. Once you do so, you will likely be able to navigate the ins and outs of the legal elements of divorce with more focus, intention and peace.

When someone fails at an endeavor, that individual has been unsuccessful at achieving that endeavor. Certainly, when a marriage ends, the couple involved has not been successful at remaining married until death. However, the couple involved has likely succeeded at so many endeavors within the marriage that the union itself cannot reasonably be perceived as “failed.”

For example, when you and your spouse chose to marry, you likely resolved to grow in love, to learn from your experiences and to become more mature as a result of your union. Unless you have made no growth as a person during the course of your marriage and unless you refuse to learn from the experiences you had as a married person, you cannot reasonably be perceived as having failed at married life.

Not all unions last forever. But simply because these unions end does not mean that they have failed. Failure is an unfair label to slap onto most marriages that end. Because few individuals walk away from their marriages having stagnated in their personal growth and having refused to learn from their experiences.

Source: The Huffington Post, “11 Reasons There’s No Such Thing As A ‘Failed Marriage’,” Brittany Wong, May 28, 2015